Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
