Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
