its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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