For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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