But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
