This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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