the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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