Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
