If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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