Tell her she can't have a vagina
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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