I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
