y did u give ur computer a hand job?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
