He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i think i have herpe
just one?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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