bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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