Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize