Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
