Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
