And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
