I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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