They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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