Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Fuuuuuck dude, heβs got #Excel in his Facebook bio; Iβm screaming
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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