these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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