I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
