I wish I only lived at night.
its not stalking. its research.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
