just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
