She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
