some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
