Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
