Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
