super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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