I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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