can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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