ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
