I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
