Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
