It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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