No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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