I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Buhtt sex?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
