MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
