I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
