don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
