dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
