Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
