He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
