It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
