it hurts more in the daytime
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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