I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
