oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
