Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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