After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
