My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
