I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
What a dumb baby whore.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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