God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
