she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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