My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
