whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
