The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
