yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
