Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
